Q: Do we come in together or separately?
A: Ideally at the beginning of the counseling meeting together gives you both a chance to express your feelings and tell your story. Often the first sessions will give both of you confidence and hope that you can work on the relationship and make the change you’re seeking.
Q: Will we always meet together?
A: No, after some initial joint sessions I may meet with each of you alone. After these first sessions a counseling strategy generally surfaces. The counseling plan might include a mix of joint sessions together and or individual sessions as well.
Q: How do we decide whether to do joint or individual sessions?
A: Be mindful counseling as a couple helps to develop Communication skills, Negotiation skills, Development of a shared vision together, More productive conflict resolution of problems, Freedom to make up after upsetting battles, Increased comfort in dealing with recurring conflicts, awareness of individual personal areas for growth. Individual counseling brings change by focusing on personal issues, patterns of expectation, depressed or anxious feelings that create problems in the relationship and or self-image issues that interfere with building a strong bond between you and your spouse. So a lot of considerations are collecting in setting forth the schedule as we go along in this process.
Q: How long will the sessions last?
A: Couples have their own pace. Some can move into an issue quickly, find some new ways to deal with it and want to go home and practice. Many couples like a longer session which allows them to work through some deeper conflicts and find ways to communicate better. So sessions can be tailored to your needs from 45 minutes to two hours. I recommend that you start the first session at 90 minutes and begin to feel out what is right for you.
Q: What happens if we fight during the session?
A: When you work with me, I won’t let you fight in our sessions. I put all of my effort into tuning in and truly listening to both of you. At the same time however, I want to keep you safe and us on track, so I will take an active stand and interrupt you if needed. I help you stay away from contentious issues so that we can focus on the emotions that fuel your repetitive arguments, frustration, and alienation.
Q: How often should we come to therapy?
A: Frequency of your therapy sessions is in your hands. However, especially at the beginning of treatment, I recommend that couples come in weekly for at least 8 – 10 sessions. By doing so, we are able to “catch the momentum” and dive more quickly into the issues that cause the most distress in your relationship. Later on, depending on how much support you need, we can see each other every other week or even once a month.
Q. How many sessions should we expect to need?
A: The average is 8-12 sessions. Note that typically, couples feel better after the first two or three sessions, experiencing some relief from their symptoms. However, we want you to have lasting change, and that typically occurs after 9-10 sessions. The number of sessions needed is unique to each person, couple, or family, and depends on the issues they seek to address. We will discuss and determine the right number of sessions for your situation. It’s not uncommon for clients to come and go from therapy as needed, based on the ups and downs of their life. That’s what we’re here for!
Q: We have been in couples therapy before, we felt like the therapist was taking sides. What if that happens again?
A: If one of you starts to feel that I am taking sides, I am not doing my job well. I work really hard so that both of you feel that I do understand your experiences. However, couples counseling is a tricky business, and if you ever feel that I am taking sides, the sooner I know about that, the sooner I can take action. This is your treatment and I need your feedback to serve you better.
Q. What if we are not married?
A: That’s ok! I work with people who are in relationships, whether married or not. I work with clients who are trying to figure out if they want to get married, clients who are engaged and want to do some pre-marital counseling, and clients in many other situations.
Q: How much do the sessions cost?
A: We currently accepts Blue Cross and Blue Shield as well as Out of Network insurance. Price range for in-office sessions is $60-$145 and we offer online counseling for a discounted price.
Q: Will my insurance cover couple counseling?
A. Many times it will. This depends on the particular policy that your company has with the insurance plans. You can find out by simply calling your provider and ask them if they cover marriage counseling with a licensed marriage and family therapist
Q. What if my spouse/partner doesn’t want to go to counseling?
A: In many cases, one partner wants therapy and the other does not. Because I am a Marriage and Family Counselor, I can assist you with your relationships, even when you’re the only one present in counseling. In Marriage Counseling, the unit of treatment isn’t just the individual client – even if only one person is present – it’s the set of that person’s relationships. Please me to talk about your unique situation, so we can guide you in a direction that will give you support and help, even if your partner doesn’t want to come to therapy.
Q: Is there any difference if we try online counseling with you and over coming into your local practice?
A: There is no difference in our discussion in the office or through online counseling. Online counseling sessions are ideal for those who are not able to travel to our Fort Worth, TX office. Having said that it’s also convenient for those who live locally but are unable to arrange childcare have also opted to have a session over online. It is more convenient for them and saves travel time and costs as well. Give me a call if you feel online counseling might work well for you.
Q: Is there any point in coming if we’ve already filed for divorce?
A: Yes, couples who have filed for divorce are able to reconcile. Even if you do not wish to reconcile, you can gain clarity about why your relationship has reached this point so that you can both make a conscious choice and be better prepared for future relationships. Finally, if you have children, it behooves you to relate to each other in a healthy way as you will continue to be in relationship as parents to your children.
Q. What is your approach to couples counseling?
A: Warm, practical, and focused on specific, attainable results. I design a short-term process based on your needs and goals. In couples counseling I do not takes sides. I act as an objective third party, ensuring that both partners can collect their emotions and express how they feel. I will work with you both to identify some of the patterns that are getting you stuck in your relationship, and then will help to change those patterns. In this way, we assist couples in building deeper levels of interaction, communication, and connection.
I do not tell couples whether they should stay together or not. Instead, I clarify what is right for each person and empower both of them to create change in your own relationship. The first element to creating change is insight. Most of the time, our life is being governed by unconscious patterns. Therapy helps us become conscious of our limiting patterns and with that new awareness, we have the freedom to choose different behaviors.
The second element is having new experiences. For example many times couples try to talk to each other about important issues but end up feeling angry and misunderstood. Having the experience in therapy of being really heard and validated by your partner can help us feel close and a lot more connected.
Finally, I continually provide you with the tools you need to navigate your way towards a stronger, deeper relationship. For instance, if you are starting to get into an argument about a core issue, it’s my job to share with you the insight and steps to turn arguments into conversations.
Q: How do I get started?
A: Contact me today via phone or via email. We’ll talk about your relationship, types of problems that you are experiencing, our schedule availabilities and the fees. I will answer any questions that you have about starting counseling. We will also decide if we are the right fit for each other. If I’m not the best counselor for you, I’m happy to help you find one who is. This is your therapy and you want to find a therapist who you feel confident and engaging with you.
The Best You Counseling
5601 Bridge Street Suite 300
Hurst, Texas 76053